Beautiful Destruction
by Cakestar
Summary: but I’ve never been happier to suffocate


**AN:** Rachel and Puck paid another visit to Nurse Terri Schuester.

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I say, "I want to sing a song for you," and then I dance around him and move and can't stop, and my skin feels alive and on fire and he's looking at me, and then he takes my arm (too hard, it bruises, I love it) and spins me around and I'm looking up at him and breathing and laughing into his face.

And he says, "shut up, you talk too much," and then his hands are all over me and it's like dying and coming back to life with every second of every minute of every hour of every day that we're there and it's like this forever. And then it's over all too soon (because forever isn't enough and it never has been and it never will be) and I can breathe air when all I want to breathe and feel and taste and be is him and I want him to be me and I want us to be _one_.

I laugh and run and jump and fly and never look back because I know he can catch me if I fall and I know he will (even if he says he won't), and then I turn and look at him and he's looking at me like I'm maybe stupid or something and maybe I am. And I yell at him because he's so far and because it makes my throat scratch, "are you in love with me?" because I have to _know_ this kind of thing because you just _have to know_.

He doesn't run at me but he sits down next to the tree and he looks up and yells back at me, "you crazy bitch, why are you so loud, learn to do something better with your mouth," and I run to him and throw myself onto him. (I scratch my hands and knees on the ground and it feels good) and then I'm kissing him anywhere I can reach, his eyes nose neck face hands and he thinks I'm a freak and a loser and then I start to sing for him, and he's wonderful.

I get up and I dance some more, and I want to climb the tree so I try because I want to see what it's like to see from his eyes and he looks so small and I wonder if I look that small. "You're like a bug and I'm a shoe and I could _break you_," I tell him and then I fall down (and he catches me like I thought he would) and I pretend that I'm too heavy to get up so I can just _sink_ into him and be forever.

He says, "hey, hey, look," and he touches my face and I want dancing bears and Decembers and silver storms, and I want it with him (because who else could give it all to me?) and I just ache _everywhere_ from his touch, but it's a good ache.

I want to run barefoot and dive over waterfalls and sing songs and live in a musical, and he'll probably call me gay for it but then he'll smile that smile and I'll start singing in my head and it'll push and push and push until I sing out loud, and then he'll tell me to shut up because all I do is talk and he can't think when I talk. And then he'll take my wrist (rough but gentle and nice and I love it) and he's perfect and beautiful and it breaks my heart a little bit every time he smiles at me because he's just _that kind of beautiful_, the kind that hurts to look at and you wonder if he's real or if you'll wake up one day and he won't be there anymore. He's like a nightmare but I don't ever want to wake up because _I'll live with the terror if it's with him_ because he makes me a little bit crazy.

(And he'll kiss my wrists and he'll feel my blood twisting and turning all crazy under my skin and he'll bite a little bit and oh it'll be amazing and I won't want it to stop ever and he just won't stop and he makes me do things I'd never do otherwise and it's dangerous and wonderful and he makes me see in reds and blues and pinks and purples and oranges and greens and it's weird but normal but the best thing that's ever happened to me but he's going to ruin me but it'll be the most _beautiful destruction ever_.)

I can't breathe can't breathe _can't breathe_, (but I've never been happier to suffocate)

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**AN:** umm umm umm this is me procrastinating because I have three term papers due tomorrow and Glee is on tonight so I couldn't help it. (Sorry I'm a huge spaz.)

YES I KNOW THAT HALF OF THIS ISN'T CAPITALIZED AND IT'S FULL OF RUN-ONS.

**UMM UMM UMM I don't own anything because why should I be so lucky?**


End file.
